Shifting the Focus from Romantic Love to Self-Love
Ah, February—the month of love. While Valentine’s Day often emphasizes romantic love, this month, let’s turn our attention to something even more essential: Self-Love. It is said that we cannot truly embrace love or give love to others without first loving ourselves.
Many of us claim to love ourselves, yet our actions often suggest otherwise. We can be our harshest critics, chastising ourselves over small mistakes, a bump in the road, or a slip of the tongue. Have you ever paid attention to the way you speak to yourself after a misstep or forgotten task? Would you ever dream of saying those same things to a friend or loved one? Likely not.
Beyond self-criticism, we also demonstrate a lack of Self-Love by overworking, overextending, and exhausting ourselves while giving more than we have the energy for. In yoga, we strive for balance—body, mind, and spirit. While helping others is fulfilling, burning ourselves out takes a toll on both physical and emotional well-being.
Unlearning False Beliefs About Love
Somewhere along the way—through social media, parenting, education, or friendships—we were conditioned to believe that love is external, something to be earned, or something that comes with conditions. Instead of fostering self-acceptance, we often seek approval and validation from others, mistaking it for love.
This learned pattern sets us up for self-judgment, causing us to feel disconnected from who we truly are. We begin to believe we are unworthy of love, filling the emptiness with work or meeting others’ needs, rather than nurturing our own.
You Are Worthy of Love
The truth is, you are inherently worthy of love. There is nothing you need to do, no milestone to reach, and no perfection to attain—simply existing is reason enough to love yourself. Yet, many of us create unrealistic expectations, keeping our minds in battle and our hearts in loneliness.
To embark on the journey of Self-Love, the first step is believing in your worth. That belief forms the foundation for true self-acceptance, where we learn to embrace every part of ourselves—both light and shadow, success and failure.
Overcoming the Obstacles Within the Mind
Our biggest challenge in cultivating Self-Love lies within our own minds. The mind enjoys comfort and familiarity, resisting change—even when the change is for our well-being. This resistance arises when we attempt to break free from old patterns, beliefs, and habits. The mind tells us stories that keep us stuck, and over time, we start to believe them.
So, how do we break free? How do we silence the inner critic and begin to nurture genuine love for ourselves?
8 Ways to Incorporate Self-Love into Your Daily Routine
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Start Your Day with a Compliment
Each morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself something positive. Say your name and acknowledge something wonderful about yourself. Even if it feels silly, this practice shifts your internal dialogue toward kindness.
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Catch Negative Self-Talk and Replace It
Every time you catch yourself comparing or criticizing, pause and reframe your thoughts with a compassionate statement.
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Ask Yourself Daily: “What Can I Do to Make You Happy?”
True happiness must come from within, not from someone else’s actions. Self-care begins and ends with you.
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Surround Yourself with Positive and Supportive People
It’s difficult to cultivate Self-Love in an environment that perpetuates negativity. Assess your relationships and distance yourself from those who drain your energy or reinforce self-doubt.
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Develop a Meditation Practice
Meditation helps you observe the stories your mind tells, recognize self-doubt triggers, and cultivate inner awareness. Whether through guided meditations, silent sitting, or mantra repetition, this practice fosters deep self-connection.
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Commit to Your Yoga Practice
Yoga provides a sacred space to slow down, listen to your body, and honor its wisdom. Your body never lies—it carries the stories of your life and offers invaluable guidance toward self-compassion. I’ve designed a special Loving-Kindness Yoga Workshop and a variety of classes to support this journey—find them [here].
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Engage in Activities That Nourish Your Spirit
Whether it’s playing music, dancing, painting, writing, watching a funny movie, or praying, find what brings you joy. Laughter heals. Gratitude shifts perspectives. My book, Everyday Gratitude – The Doorway to Happiness, walks you through the steps to cultivate gratitude and peace.
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Create Healthy Boundaries and Make Space for Yourself
Balance is key. If work dominates your life, it will eventually affect your well-being. Learn to say “no” to obligations that don’t align with your joy. Also, disconnect from social media and screens—constant comparison depletes confidence and self-worth. Instead, prioritize Self-Time.
Your Journey to Self-Love Begins Now
Nurturing yourself and bringing life into balance is one of the most loving things you can do. Self-Love means embracing all of who you are—your ups and downs, successes and failures, strengths and vulnerabilities.
This month, I invite you to join me on a journey of Self-Love. Take time to practice Heart-Opening Hatha Yoga, join a Meditation Night, experience a relaxing gong session, or break through limiting beliefs with Kundalini Yoga.
After all, you are worth it.
Namaste
Paula.
Check out Paula’s Online Yoga Class and Programs Here
